Julia Jarrett

The reality that my best friend, a man I’ve known since university and who probably knows me better than myself is here, halfway across the country from where he lives, slams into me. It brings a fresh wave of pent-up emotion. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling more fucking tears start to build.

She slowly lifts her gaze to meet mine, and I’m relieved to see her green eyes are a little bit clearer.

She tugs her lip between her teeth again, and it’s torture holding myself back from smoothing it out with my thumb.

“There’s going to be stuff to organize. I don’t even know where to start. It’s not like ‘plan a quickie wedding’ was ever on my life goals.”

I hear the acceptance, and I hear the overwhelm. And finally, I give in to my need to touch her somehow, to ground her. Walking around the counter, I spin her on the stool to face me and place my hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. “Listen. If you’re going to let me do this, then let me. God knows you’ve got enough on your mind right now, you don’t need to be worrying about this as well. I’ll contact city hall in the morning, and we’ll go from there.”

“Thank you.”

At her quiet, yet no less heartfelt words, I pause. This side of Cam is one I’m not used to. The Cam I know is all hard edges, sharp, and closed off. The woman looking at me now, with something undefinable written on her face, is softer, open, vulnerable. In all our years of friendship, I’ve never seen her like this.

“There you two are.”

Barkley’s voice breaks through, and whatever moment I’d hoped we were having is gone.

“Oh really,” he says, drawing out the word. “Is she the reason you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

I shoot him a sharp look. “I’ve had plenty of girlfriends.”

“Just none that last more than a month or two. However long it takes for you to realize they’re not her.”

My glare deepens. “Listen, both of you, drop it. Cam is one of my closest friends. There’s never been anything else between us, and there never will be.”

“You’re my wife, Cam. Like it or not, whether it’s a real marriage or not, in my mind, you are my wife. And that means I want to take care of you. I want to make you feel safe and cared for, yet free to figure yourself out, however you need to. Somewhere along the way these last couple of weeks, I think I forgot that last part.”

“Beckett,” I say softly, our eyes connecting through the phone screen. I don’t know what to say. Except to ask him once more to be here for me. “Will you stay on the phone until I fall asleep?”

His tired yet relieved smile tells me more than any words could that we’re going to be okay.

“As you wish.”

Pulling into my driveway, I cut the engine but sit there frozen. The morbid voice inside my head tells me I’ll never find anyone who makes me feel like they’re my missing piece the way Cam does. That same voice tells me I’ll never have her because I’ll never be enough to break down the walls around her heart. That she’ll never change, she’ll never let go of whatever it is that holds her back from being open to love and being loved.

The greatest gift you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

“Thanks, I’ll see you later.” Beckett walks past, pausing and dropping a kiss to my forehead. He freezes, his hand on my shoulder, his lips hovering above my face. “I…don’t know why I just did that,” he says hoarsely, still not moving away.

“It’s fine,” I whisper, my eyes darting between his, framed by his glasses, and glancing at his lips. If I tilted my head just slightly…

“Okay. Bye.” He steps back abruptly, pivots, and walks quickly to the front door without a second glance.

I take a sip and hum with pleasure as the sharp, full taste hits my tongue. “Wow, that’s good.” I take another drink, then lean against the counter. “Is Leo happy living here?”

Beckett’s watching me, his eyes dark and heavy.

“As you wish.”

His weight is lifted off me, and I can’t hold back a sound of protest. But I get over it quickly when his next move is to yank my sleep shorts down.

The next thing I know, our positions are switched again, and Beckett is manhandling me like I’m a doll, turning me so that I’m straddling his face. But what shocks the hell out of me in the best possible way is his hand smacking my ass.

“Give me that sweet pussy, babe. I’m hungry.”