ladybookmad

my value doesn’t go down when my weight goes up.

tell me
something,
would you?
haven’t you
ever wished
you could
dance
in the ashes
of everyone who
ever doubted
your worth
& scoffed at
your words?
(shhh,
it’s okay.
i won’t tell.)

you

told me

i was as

vital

as

that

after-dinner

cigarette

you

could never

have just

one of.

begin to miss meals

ache in the worst ways.

slip from our fingers like a haze of barely-there smoke,

you’ll bleed yourself dry for me one question at a time—no passing. i’ll lick your wounds

airless,

upside-down

“that you had every reason to lock, bolt, & paint your door shut, but you still had enough space in that trusting heart of yours to leave it ajar & brave the cold air for me.”

somewhere along the way, he forgot to mention the swarms of flies & wasps that would eventually come to cover everything we made together. the spoilage of all this misguided longing.