Deborah Smith

Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

there are nine good things and one bad thing in our lives,

we’ll expend more energy focusing on the one bad thing

than on all that good.

This is a habit left over from primitive times,

when our ancestors needed to be

constantly on the lookout for danger.

If you discover yourself focusing on the bad, tell yourself:

“It’s not the prehistoric era anymore.

Worry about bad things when they happen, not before.”

When flowers wilt,

when the sun sets,

when a person’s life ends,

even in our deep sadness

we learn the wisdom

to understand and accept life

and learn the humility

to forgive others and ourselves.”

—SISTER CLAUDIA LEE HAE-HIN,H FROM “A SMALL PRAYER

When we become kinder to ourselves,

we can become kinder to the world.

The true winner is the one who is happy with his life.

If you think and worry too much before doing something,

“your boat goes to the mountain instead of the ocean.”

Now and then it is necessary to trust your intuition

and push ahead in the direction you feel is appropriate.

Parents, please teach your children that

abusive language or violence toward the weak

is wrong under any circumstances.

It is also wrong to delight in someone else’s pain.

If you wish for your child to grow up to be decent,

do not countenance such behavior.

Instead, offer your help to the weak and powerless,

or make an honest effort to model important values,

such as honesty, compassion, dedication, and tolerance.

Do your best to give your children someone to look up to.

When your self-esteem hits rock bottom,

say to yourself: “To my family and close friends,

I’m just as precious as I’ve always been.

I’m still capable of doing good in the world;

a few people who don’t really know me

don’t get to decide what I’m worth.

In time, I believe I’ll meet different people

who will value me and my abilities.”

However close a relationship is,

some questions are better left unasked:

“Why don’t you lose weight?”

“Why aren’t you married yet?”

“Why did you get divorced?”

“Why aren’t you working?”

Please, keep these thoughts to yourself.