Deborah Smith

We hurt each other more often through ignorance

than through spite.

If we have hurt each other, say,

“I am very sorry and want to resolve this.

I must have misunderstood you.”

Each of us has our own unique perspective.

Seen from it, everyone seems to be right.

But if we want to come to an agreement,

rather than asserting our own perspective,

we need to say:

“Your perspective reveals something

that I had been unaware of.

Tell me more, because I want to understand it.”

Instead of trying to persuade,

we should first try to understand the other person.

When someone does something to distress you

for no apparent reason,

or behaves completely unreasonably,

for your own sake, repeat to yourself:

“Big world, some weirdos!”

When dealing with someone unyielding and difficult,

say to yourself:

“Just like me, he needs to support his family.

Just like me, he’s thinking about his future.

Just like me, he must be facing a hardship that not many people know about.”

Many of us experience disconnection

and related feelings like rejection, disappointment, and loneliness.

If you are suffering in this way,

pray for the one who has broken away from you.

Send them some positive energy and good wishes.

Choosing not to hate them is the best revenge,

the only kind that won’t leave a lasting wound in your heart.

If you point out someone’s faults,

don’t expect their behavior to change.

Often all that happens

is that they get hurt.

Instead, praise their strengths,

which will grow to overshadow their weaknesses.

Because I have experienced pain,

I am able to embrace the pain of others.

Because I have made mistakes,

I am able to forgive others their mistakes.

May my suffering become the seed of compassion.

Children are eager to show off their scars

because they like to receive loving attention from others.

But if you look closely, adults are just the same.

When you are hurt or struggling,

when you are sad or depressed,

don’t always keep it to yourself;

at times, bare your wounds like a child

and say, “I am in pain.”

to make their parents happy by being “good.”

by living in accordance with the demands of others, we unwittingly neglect our own desires and needs.