Lisk Feng

Parents, please teach your children that

abusive language or violence toward the weak

is wrong under any circumstances.

It is also wrong to delight in someone else’s pain.

If you wish for your child to grow up to be decent,

do not countenance such behavior.

Instead, offer your help to the weak and powerless,

or make an honest effort to model important values,

such as honesty, compassion, dedication, and tolerance.

Do your best to give your children someone to look up to.

When your self-esteem hits rock bottom,

say to yourself: “To my family and close friends,

I’m just as precious as I’ve always been.

I’m still capable of doing good in the world;

a few people who don’t really know me

don’t get to decide what I’m worth.

In time, I believe I’ll meet different people

who will value me and my abilities.”

However close a relationship is,

some questions are better left unasked:

“Why don’t you lose weight?”

“Why aren’t you married yet?”

“Why did you get divorced?”

“Why aren’t you working?”

Please, keep these thoughts to yourself.

If you love someone,

rather than doing what you think they need,

do what they themselves ask you to do.

Are you worried because

your spouse or child has put on weight?

The best way to make someone you love

look after their health is by looking after your own,

with a balanced diet and regular exercise.

If you set an example, they’re much more likely to join in.

“Even among branches that stem from the same root,

there will be those that are healthy and bear many fruits

and those that are stunted and whose fruit is undersized.

The healthier branch might have become that way

by receiving more than its fair share of nutrients.

It’s the same with siblings:

If there is one who is smart and successful,

there could be one who is poor and must rely on the other.

You’ll be annoyed if every time your sibling asks for help,

you feel you’re being deprived of what’s rightfully yours.

But if you consider how your sibling might have had to sacrifice

for you to get to where you are now, it will not seem so unfair.”

—MISOOK KO, KOREAN LITERATURE SCHOLAR

When you feel like you’re about to lose your temper,

think of your family.

Think about how your children will suffer the consequences.

If you cannot control your temper for yourself,

control it for your family’s sake.

If you want to help your child, your partner, or your friend,

simply listen without offering advice or your own interpretation.

And empathize, imagining that you yourself just had that experience.

Don’t turn away from difficulties, but endure them together.

That is how you can be of greatest help.