Saeed Jones

A body like light reaching right down into the field

where you thought you could hide from me.

Robyn, I don’t know

what’s worse: trying to wrap my warmth

around yours then realizing I’m still in bed

with him, or reaching for you in the dark

and only being held by darkness

I grieve

saying “you’re killing me!” when I meant to say “you are

killing me.”

he pulls me in

for a kiss again and I decide,

briefly, to let the world kill

itself however it chooses:

I meant to bring you flowers but when I reached

your door, all I had in my hands was teeth. Sorry,

I meant to say grief. Seems like all I say is grief.

I’m most dangerous when I’m hungry. I’m most hungry

when I’m hurting. Seems like I’m always hurting. Nothing

but teeth.

It’s not up to me when I get to stop crying. Or hurting.

Or holding memories in my mouth, gentle as bees

I promised not to eat, but oh, the hurt is so sweet

I grieve every name I called out

in the dark. I grieve that I never, not once, called out my own