투나미스

If Al Capone, ‘Two Gun’ Crowley, Dutch Schultz, and the desperate men and women behind prison walls don’t blame themselves for anything – what about the people with whom you and I come in contact?

ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticise themselves for anything no matter how wrong it may be.

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralise employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.

Anyhow, it is water under the bridge now.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity

Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? ‘I will speak ill of no man,’ he said, ‘. . . and speak all the good I know of everybody.’

Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain – and most fools do.

But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

‘A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.’

As Dr. Johnson said: ‘God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.’

Why should you and I?

PRINCIPLE 1

Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.

John Dewey, one of America’s most profound philosophers, phrased it a bit differently. Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’

Lincoln once began a letter saying: ‘Everybody likes a compliment.’ William James said: ‘The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.’ He didn’t speak, mind you, of the ‘wish’ or the ‘desire’ or the ‘longing’ to be appreciated. He said the ‘craving’ to be appreciated