The Hidden Power of F*cking Up

*The most powerful weapon against a bad habit is a good habit.

But more importantly, success should never be your goal; the goal is the experience.

As my drag mother Mayhem Miller told me, “If you feel like you failed, don’t worry, we’ve all been there. You’ll slay next time.”

to witness the way in which my sisters and I casually chat is akin to a teen drama where everyone is the mean blond girl

I reminded myself that I’ll go to jail if I murder my own family—then who would feed my dogs?

Both of my sisters, to drive a point home about my family, find the idea of having kids to be unnecessary, wasteful, and just plain gross—and if you feel compelled to do that thing where your voice gets higher and you plead, “But like that’s what every woman says until they have kids,” my sisters will laugh at you, find the nearest child, and punch it in the head to prove their point.

I used to call her the “robot” because her operating systems were so smooth and malfunctioned only on the rarest of occasions, when she couldn’t complete a checklist.

A real, strong, loving hug.

KRYPTONITE.

While Keith inspires me and Zach provokes me, Ned simply horrifies me as both a friend and an organism that breathes, thinks, and worst yet—loves openly. I mean gushily, unabashedly loves, so overbearingly so that his actual brand as an entertainer Venn-diagrams winsomely with his roles as a husband and father.

I see the way he communicates with his parents and sister and I recognize something familiar and something foreign: they playfully jab, which I completely understand, but I’m lost when I see how involved they expressly want to be in one another’s lives.