Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

This is not about selfishness, it’s about balance, balance between giving and receiving; balance between self and others

In order to put a higher priority on your own enjoyment, you have to say no to requests that pull you too far away from it.

Are you in the right job/career for you?
What’s your favorite movie genre?
What kinds of books do you like to read?
Can you name a talent that you feel you have and would like to cultivate in yourself?
If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Do you have enough friends?
Do you enjoy the friends you do have?
Which friends do you enjoy the most?
What comes naturally to you?
What’s your least favorite chore?
What’s your least favorite activity?
What things take you the most time to accomplish?

Put a higher priority on your own enjoyment:

What’s your favorite kind of food?
What’s your favorite sport to play?
What’s your favorite sport to watch?
Do you even like sports?
Do you have a fashion sense? If so, what’s your style?
What’s your favorite way to spend a Saturday?

it’s hard for you to say no, chances are it’s hard for you to ask for help as well. Assertiveness works both ways

primary rule of assertiveness is that anyone has the right to ask you for anything; and you have the equal right to say no, without giving a reason

Ask for help.

When you first start to work on putting yourself first, you may encounter resistance. Surprisingly, it will be primarily from the people closest to you. Think about it this way: all of the people who know you best expect you to behave a certain way.

Developing a skill takes work. It requires time and conscious effort