So Sad Today

s hard to compare the person you see once every three months with the person you see every day. It’s hard to compare the person you don’t really know with the person you’ve been with for eleven years. The rarer person starts to look better. You don’t see his flaws. He only shows you his best self.

Staying drunk seemed like a very practical solution to me. If you could drink yourself into happiness, why would you stay sad and sober? And if you could drink yourself into ultra-happiness, why would you settle for regular happiness?

The religion of the household quickly became food: me not being allowed to have it and me sneaking it.

One of my favorite foods to sneak was me. In an attempt to be enough, I began to consume my own body parts. I ate my fingernails and toenails. I ate every single one.

your appetites are too big for the planet, and therefore, you probably shouldn’t be here

My first day on earth and I know I was already thinking about death. A lot. I was probably thinking about death enough to negate every future accomplishment, relationship, and thing that I might come to love with thoughts like what’s the point? and why bother?

If you’re never going to be enough, it’s important to find a way to turn a compliment against yourself—to reconstruct it into a prison

When you have low self-esteem, to be embraced at your most vile is a marvel.

What happens to the space that two people occupied together? How can it just disappear?

I TELL MYSELF I KNOW nothing about love so I can recover. I am recovering from a fantasy that I projected on a young man’s body.

I guess you aren’t going to rescue me from my life: a love story