The Good-Relationship Inventory
In a happy and compatible relationship, adults:
• love each other
• respect each other
• are courteous to each other
• are generally about as physically attractive as one another (this doesn’t apply if one of you is very rich and/or powerful!)
• can talk about their feelings together
• laugh at the same things
• share similar political views
• have the same sort of body-clock – i.e. both like getting up early, or both like staying up late
• have a similar approach to handling money or can at least discuss financial matters comfortably
• have similar sex drives
• respect each other’s religious or moral beliefs
• are of similar intelligence
• have broadly similar ages (age difference less than 10 years)
• agree on whether or not to have children
• make an effort to get on with each other’s friends and families
• join in each other’s interests, or encourage each other to pursue activities that make them happy, even if they do these alone
• allow each other time and space to be alone, or to see personal friends
• take care of each other – especially when one partner is pregnant, ill, tired, or stressed
• hold similar views on how clean and tidy their home should be
• have similar views on celebrating birthdays/anniversaries
• enjoy the same sorts of holidays
• share similar views on issues like global warming, world debt, and giving to charity
• have similar attitudes to health, keeping fit and how much to drink or smoke
• enjoy the same sort of music, films and TV – or at least make an effort to accommodate differences of opinion
• believe they are equals in the relationship