“Another time,” she said, feeling despondent. “I need to be alone. If you would, please, leave me. All of you,” she said, turning and looking at Steffen and Illepra.
They all rose to their feet and bowed their heads, then turned and hurried from the room.
Gwen felt guilty, but she couldn’t stop it; she wanted to crumple into a ball and die. She listened to their steps cross the room, heard the door close behind them, and looked up to make sure the room was empty.
But she was surprised to see that it was not: there stood a lone figure, standing inside the doorway, erect, with her posture perfect, as always. She walked slowly and stately towards Gwen, stopping a few feet from her bedside, staring down at her, expressionless.
Her mother.
Gwen was surprised to see her standing there, the former Queen, as stately and proud as ever, looking down at her with an expression as cool as ever. There was no compassion behind her eyes, as there were behind the eyes of other visitors.
“Why are you here?” Gwen asked.
“I’ve come to see you.”
“But I don’t want to see you,” Gwen said. “I don’t want to see anyone.”
“I don’t care what you want,” her mother said, cool and confident. “I am your mother, and I have a right to see you when I wish.”
Gwen felt her old anger towards her mother flare up; she was the last person she wanted to see at this moment. But she knew her mother and knew that she would not leave until she had spoken her mind.
“So speak then,” Gwendolyn said. “Speak and leave and be done with me.”
Her mother sighed.
“You don’t know this,” her mother said. “But when I was young, your age, I was attacked in the same way as you.”
Gwen stared back, shocked; she’d had no idea.
“Your father knew of it,” her mother continued. “And he did not care. He married me just the same. At the time, it felt as if my world had ended. But it had not.”
Gwen closed her eyes, feeling another tear roll down her cheek, trying to block the topic out. She did not want to hear her mother’s story. It was too little too late for her mother to give her any real compassion. Did she just expect she could waltz in here, after so many years of harsh treatment, and offer a sympathetic story and expect all to be mended in return?
“Are you done now?” Gwendolyn asked.
Her mother stepped forward, “No, I’m not done,” she said firmly. “You are Queen now—it is time for you to act like one,” her mother said, her voice as hard as steel. Gwen heard a strength in it she had never heard before. “You pity yourself. But women every day, everywhere, suffer far worse fates than you. What has happened to you is nothing in the scheme of life. Do you understand me? It is nothing.”
Her mother sighed.
“If you want to survive and
pengertian.
"Lain kali," katanya, merasa sedih. "Saya ingin menyendiri. Jika kamu mau, tolong, tinggalkan aku. Kalian semua, ”katanya, berbalik dan memandang Steffen dan Illepra.
Mereka semua bangkit dan menundukkan kepala, lalu berbalik dan bergegas keluar dari ruangan.
Gwen merasa bersalah, tetapi dia tidak bisa menghentikannya; dia ingin meremas bola dan mati. Dia mendengarkan langkah mereka melintasi ruangan, mendengar pintu menutup di belakang mereka, dan mendongak untuk memastikan ruangan itu kosong.
Tetapi dia terkejut melihat bahwa itu bukan: di sana berdiri sosok sendirian, berdiri di dalam pintu, tegak, dengan postur tubuhnya yang sempurna, seperti biasa. Dia berjalan perlahan dan megah ke arah Gwen, berhenti beberapa kaki dari samping tempat tidurnya, menatapnya, tanpa ekspresi.
Ibunya.
Gwen terkejut melihat dia berdiri di sana, mantan Ratu, sebagai megah dan bangga seperti biasa, menatapnya dengan ekspresi sedingin sebelumnya. Tidak ada belas kasih di belakang matanya, karena ada di belakang mata pengunjung lain.
"Kenapa kamu di sini?" Tanya Gwen.
"Aku datang untuk menemuimu."
"Tapi aku tidak ingin melihatmu," kata Gwen. "Aku tidak ingin melihat siapa pun."
"Saya tidak peduli apa yang Anda inginkan," kata ibunya, tenang dan percaya diri. "Aku ibumu, dan aku berhak melihatmu kapan saja aku mau."
Gwen merasakan kemarahan lamanya terhadap ibunya berkobar; dia adalah orang terakhir yang ingin dia temui saat ini. Tetapi dia mengenal ibunya dan tahu bahwa dia tidak akan pergi sebelum dia mengatakan apa yang dia pikirkan.
"Jadi, berbicaralah," kata Gwendolyn. "Bicaralah dan pergi dan selesai dengan saya."
Ibunya menghela nafas.
"Kamu tidak tahu ini," kata ibunya. "Tapi ketika aku masih muda, seusiamu, aku diserang dengan cara yang sama seperti kamu."
Gwen balas menatap, kaget; dia tidak tahu.
"Ayahmu tahu itu," lanjut ibunya. “Dan dia tidak peduli. Dia menikahi saya sama saja. Pada saat itu, rasanya dunia saya telah berakhir. Tapi ternyata tidak. ”
Gwen memejamkan matanya, merasakan air mata lain bergulir di pipinya, berusaha menghalangi topik itu. Dia tidak ingin mendengar cerita ibunya. Sudah terlalu terlambat bagi ibunya untuk memberinya belas kasihan yang nyata. Apakah dia hanya berharap dia bisa melenggang di sini, setelah bertahun-tahun diperlakukan dengan kasar, dan menawarkan kisah simpatik dan berharap semua akan diperbaiki sebagai balasannya?
"Apakah kamu sudah selesai sekarang?" Tanya Gwendolyn.
Ibunya melangkah maju, "Tidak, aku belum selesai," katanya dengan tegas. "Kamu Ratu sekarang — saatnya bagimu untuk bertindak seperti itu," kata ibunya, suaranya sekeras baja. Gwen mendengar kekuatan di dalamnya yang belum pernah dia dengar sebelumnya. "Kau mengasihani dirimu sendiri. Tetapi wanita setiap hari, di mana saja, mengalami nasib yang jauh lebih buruk daripada Anda. Apa yang terjadi pada Anda tidak ada artinya dalam skema kehidupan. Apakah kamu mengerti yang saya maksud? Ini bukan apa-apa."
Ibunya menghela nafas.
"Jika Anda ingin bertahan hidup dan
