Trista Mateer

Coming Home
It took me too long

to realize it was

not

romantic(, tender, or healthy)

to love someone else

more than I loved

myself.

for you,

and the story you deserve

Bad love wanted a sacrifice,

so I made myself one.

I drank it straight from the tap,

wiped my mouth on my palms,

picked up a pen,

and called myself a poet.

Regardless of whether you desire it, love is what sits at the core of the world. It is stronger than greed and hate and jealousy and pain. What brings us together will always be more powerful than what keeps us apart

Aphrodite notes the romance novels piled by my bedside, their tattered covers and their dog-eared pages. She says, “I thought you weren’t looking for love.”

I say, “That doesn’t mean I’m not hoping it will find me.”

I say, “Isn’t everyone looking for love?”

She pauses for a long moment before she says, plainly, “No.”

Love knows only love

love that doesn’t last is still important / not everyone is meant to stay forever / love teaches lessons / love is more than the lessons it teaches / it does not have to be heavy / it does not have to be requited to be worthwhile / no one owes you their time or their affection / cherish your friends and the family you find with them / love has little to do with blood relations / and more to do with who you choose to bleed for / it’s okay to walk away from things that don’t feel right / your love will not always look like everyone else’s / you will not always grow it the same way / you will not always express it the same way / people can love each other and still be bad for each other / people can love each other and still be incompatible / love never means you have to stay / it means your heart is open / fight to keep it that way

It is simple. You believe in the triumphs of love despite growing up in full view of its defeat because you are brave

the idea that romantic love makes you whole

It’s important not to isolate yourself when you’re healing but it’s also important to be able to sit quietly with yourself