Amanda Lovelace

my value doesn’t go down when my weight goes up.

when i had

no friends

i reached inside

my beloved

books

& sculpted some

out of

12 pt

times new roman.

- & it was almost good enough.

that is what abuse is:

knowing you are

going to get salt

but still hoping for sugar

sticks & stones

never broke

my bones,

but words

made me

starve myself

until

you could

see all of them

how can

someone

be

too young

to be

in love

when we were

crafted

from

ocean waves

& starlight?

silence has always been my loudest scream

poetry

showed me

how to

bleed

without

the demand

of blood.

when your mother

begins to forget

your name,

you begin

to wonder

if you exist

at all.

- stage 4, terminal.

death is one of the senses

your

death certificate

makes

the claim

that

you died on

november 3rd

at 3:03 AM.

that is a

lie.

you died

long

before that.