Stephen Adly Guirgis

And knowing or believing that God existed but avoiding him probably instilled in me a lot of shame and guilt.

There’s nothing wrong with that. I wasn’t avoiding “God.” I was avoiding myself.

I do know that I am in continuous need of the Spiritual and that I usually go to great lengths to avoid it.

It’s not about doing “enough” or “too little.” It’s not about shame and guilt. It’s about You. It’s about the collective Us.

“To be a saint means to be myself.” What if that were true? What is it that we need to overcome in order to truly be “Ourselves”?

I begrudge God none of this. I do not curse him or bemoan my lot. And though my heart keeps beating only to keep breaking—I do not question why.

“Now I understand why the sun comes up at day and the stars come out at night. I understand why rain falls gently. Now I understand you, Mother”

The world tells me that God is in Heaven and that my son is in Hell. I tell the world the one true thing I know: If my son is in Hell, then there is no Heaven—because if my son sits in Hell, there is no God.

Judas Iscariot committed the one unforgivable sin. Everybody knows it—
EL-FAYOUMY:—The sin of despair!
JUDGE LITTLEFIELD. And then he did the world a favor and hung himself!

was like a catatonic statue of a former human being. And I detected sadness in him. Paralyzing, immobilizing, overwhelming sadness.