Citati
Don't love.....
The second half of the sentence doesn't sit/sound quite right
Specifically the phrasing:
'I kept thinking' being used with the preposition 'after'
"I mean, of course I realized it, but after listening to Derek describe his injuries and recovery I kept thinking about you and how you must feel going through this for a second time in less than a year."
Suggestions:
▪︎ add 'just"
'I just kept thinking'
▪︎ delete 'after' (keep same)
'... listening to Derek..... I kept thinking'
▪︎ change completely:
'after... listening to DerekI haven't stopped thinking'
'after... listening to Derek I can't stop thinking'
▪︎ change tense:
'.... after listening to Derek.... I keep thinking'
'.... having listened to Derek.... I keep thinking'
▪︎
but ater listening to Derek describe......... I kept thinking about you and how you must feel ....'
The other part of me despises him for
Incompatible / Doesn't Fit
● And a very tiny part of me feels sorry for him. The other part of me despises him for destroying so many lives.
Errors and Edit Suggestions:
Anything beyond the 'tiny part' of her is the 'rest' not the 'other part'.
● And a very tiny part of me feels sorry for him. The rest of me despises him for destroying so many lives.