Thomas J. Robertson

In truth, there are only two states when we are communicating with another person: actively listening and not listening at all.

They assume that listening is such a fundamental sense that the whole process will happen automatically. It doesn’t really work that way. Or they may be so used to doing all the overt gestures of listening that they are convinced it is really happening.

Without this, communication is nothing more than a facade, which may be sufficient when spending time talking to a neighbor on the street, but is completely inadequate in any business environment. Since businesses depend on human interaction to succeed, the quality of that interaction must be of the highest level, and interaction means communication.

There are many reasons why people fail to listen properly. They may be distracted by an activity they are doing while listening, or by other thoughts in their head that they think are more important, or they may be thinking about what they are going to say next, which is a common flaw in communication between parties whose opinions differ.

One of the most common complaints following a failed personal relationship is that the other party didn’t listen or that there was a lack of understanding, which amounts to the same thing. When a person seems to be listening but cannot truly understand what is being said, it is because the listening did not really happen

Common barriers to active listening

Ignorance and Disappointment

Reluctance

The possible result of actively listening to another person may be that you find yourself somehow too involved in their situation.

The listener’s personal interpretation of what they are hearing can cause them to respond negatively to the speaker. Either they assume they know the situation because they have been faced with similar events in the past, or they let their preconceptions color the way they respond. In the first case, the listener is not adequately listening to the facts because they already think they know the whole story.

Topic

The listener may simply not be interested in what the other person is saying.