First Love

I sat quite still, hardly looking round, and breathing very slowly; only from time to time I laughed silently at some memory, or grew cold at the thought that I was in love – it was here – this was love.

Your word is law

‘And here I am sitting opposite her,’ I was thinking, ‘I have met her; I know her. God, what happiness!’ I almost leapt from my chair in ecstasy, but in fact I only swung my legs a little, like a child enjoying a sweet. I was as happy as a fish in water. I could have stayed in that room – I could have remained in it for ever.

It seemed to me that I had known her for a long time, and that before her I had known nothing and had not lived…

(the silver sound of her voice ran through me with a sort of sweet shiver).

(the silver sound of her voice ran through me with a sort of sweet shiver).

My blood was in a ferment within me, my heart was full of longing, sweetly and foolishly; I was all expectancy and wonder;

O youth! youth! you go your way heedless, uncaring – as if you owned all the treasures of the world; even grief elates you, even sorrow sits well upon your brow. You are self-confident and insolent and you say, ‘I alone am alive – behold!’ even while your own days fly past and vanish without trace and without number, and everything within you melts away like wax in the sun…like snow…and perhaps the whole secret of your enchantment lies not, indeed, in your power to do whatever you may will, but in your power to think that there is nothing you will not do: it is this that you scatter to the winds – gifts which you could never have used to any other purpose. Each of us feels most deeply convinced that he has been too prodigal of his gifts – that he has a right to cry ‘Oh, what could I not have done, if only I had not wasted my time.’

The past suddenly rose and stood before me. So that was to be the final answer to it all. So that was the final goal towards which this young life, all glitter and ardour and excitement, went hurrying along

The past suddenly rose and stood before me. So that was to be the final answer to it all. So that was the final goal towards which this young life, all glitter and ardour and excitement, went hurrying along