THE PERFECT AGE
Comic
Andre wishes that he were older.
Andre: I’m sick of being my age. I want to be older right now so I can do all kinds of cool things. Like my brother Scott. He gets to drive and stay up late and eat whatever he wants. Only he has to kiss girls sometimes. Gross! And my dad’s even more grown up and he gets to watch all the TV he wants! Plus he has lots of money. More than me. But he has to go to work every day to get it. And then he has to give most of it to Mom, and some to Scott, and some to me, and take out the trash and kill bugs. (Beat.) Well, there’s Grandpa. He’s so grown up he can barely walk! (Beat.) Maybe I’ll stay my age just a little longer.