Reckless

“I just remembered that he called me the morning after you two first got together. And do you know what he said to me?

I shake my head. It’s all I can manage.

“He said, ‘Mom, I met her.’ And I said, ‘Who?’” Loretta’s lips curve up, her eyes taking on a faraway look. “He said, ‘The woman I’m going to marry one day.’”

Being loved is uncomfortable for her. God, I want to change that

I’ve seen the way she eye-fucks the hell out of me with not a single drop of tequila in her system

Based on what happened tonight, she’s not accustomed to people simply liking her for the woman she is. That makes me want to burn the world down around us to right the wrongs people have laid at her feet over the years

Next time, you ride my face. You’re going to ask for it. Beg for it. Work for it even. You will tell me exactly what you want, and I will give it to you. But this isn’t happening again until that time. Until you know what you want. Because I want you, Winter. And not just for one night.”

“What’s happening is Miss Independent met the treat-her-like-a-princess guy, and she’s freaking out.”

because what is it about me that is so profoundly unlovable?

I hate myself. Why can’t I just shut up and enjoy good things?

I stare at her. She has no idea how to ask for help.

And then it hits me. She’s had no one to ask.

Hers in a way that he’ll never be mine