All the Little Lights (NHB Modern Plays)

JOANNE. I sat in our seats. And there was this kid on this other table, Connie. Bet she was IVF. Cos they were all over her. And her mum’s got her one of them cookies you like. Only she’s going fucking mental, kicking and screaming cos she wanted a cupcake.

JOANNE. And her mum’s going ‘Excuse me, young lady, I beg your pardon, I don’t expect a scene like that.’ Everyone’s fucking looking but pretending not to. And her mum goes‘I know you’ve had a difficult day, darling, but we’re all tired.’ Only Connie’s still fucking fruitloop, chucking stuff.

JOANNE. Fucking ’ell, Lisa. Wait will you. I’m telling a fucking story, alright. Connie’s going skitz. And then her mum, right, her mum runs off to get her a fucking cupcake.
So I goes up to her, Connie, and I sit opposite her, and I hold her little hand. And she’s silent then. Her eyes are dead wide, looking up at me. Just staring up at me. And I get her hand and I hold it on the radiator, trap it really hard, fucking roasting radiator, and she’s crying, cos it’s fucking burning. And I’m holding it so she can’t escape. And

suddenly her mum comes back and she’s going mental, now. She drops the tray and grabs my arm and I’m like ‘Er, excuse me, young lady, I beg your pardon, I don’t expect a scene like that.’ And everyone’s staring, not even pretending not to. And I get pulled out by a security guard. Two of them. One of them’s wearing that Lynx, drowning in that fucking Lynx that TJ wears, that fucking… He’s outside.