The Secret Lives of Introverts, Jenn Granneman, Jenn Granneman
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Jenn Granneman,Jenn Granneman

The Secret Lives of Introverts

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Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
overthinking usually involves two destructive thought patterns: ruminating and worrying. Ruminating is when you rehash the past (“I shouldn’t have said that”), while worrying is when you make negative, often catastrophic, predictions about the future (“I’m going to embarrass myself on the date”).
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
If we don’t answer your text, email, or Facebook message right away, don’t think we’re ignoring you. We might want to think for a while about how we’ll respond. I often read messages and don’t answer right away because I want to think of the best way to answer. Or we may be in introvert recharge mode—no people, no messaging, no phone. For our own mental sanity, sometimes we need to completely disconnect from people in every way.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
We may not call or text you as much as your extroverted friends. That doesn’t mean we’re not thinking about you. On the contrary, you probably float through our busy mind quite a bit when we’re apart. But we know we’ll soon see each other again, and we’d rather catch up in a way that’s meaningful—in person, over coffee, one-on-one.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
for many introverts, downtime with their significant other counts as being “alone.”
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
For Extroverts: Recognizing the Signs of an Introvert Hangover
If you have an introvert in your life, it’s important to know the signs of an introvert hangover. Every introvert experiences social burnout in a different way, so they may have symptoms like these, or different ones. Here are general signs to watch for:
• Zoning out, daydreaming, or glazing over
• Becoming quiet
• Irritability, crankiness, grumpiness
• Speaking more slowly and having long pauses between words
• Appearing tired or low in energy
• Getting flustered when having to make decisions
• Feeling physically unwell
• Feeling anxious, down, or depressed
• Wanting to withdraw and be alone
Introverts tend to be highly self-aware, but surprisingly, this doesn’t always translate to being aware of our own feelings and bodily sensations. Sometimes we don’t recognize when we’re getting burned out. Seemingly out of nowhere, we become combative, lethargic, and indecisive. Especially if we’re used to overextending ourselves, an introvert hangover may just be our norm. You can do your introvert a favor by noticing when they’re getting burned out. Check in with them and see if they need to get away and be alone. Your introvert will appreciate that you’re looking out for them.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
An introvert hangover happens because introverts have a less active dopamine reward system than extroverts, as you learned in Chapter 2.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
Introverts “get out and rock it,” but then we need to withdraw. “If we don’t, we will feel like an overdone steak—no life, no juice.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
both your personality and temperament work together to create who you are. It’s both nature and nurture.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
Your personality is shaped by your circumstances and experiences; your temperament is encoded in your DNA from birth.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
Personality, on the other hand, is a mix of both your temperament and environment.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
your temperament is made up of genetic and biological factors that influence how you view and respond to your environment.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
The reason introverts and extroverts react to things differently—like partying—has to do with a chemical found in the brain called dopamine.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
temperament refers to your inborn traits that organize how you approach the world, while personality can be defined as the pattern of behavior, thoughts, and emotions that make you an individual.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
It’s easy for introverts to idealize a potential love interest. Because we’re so in our heads, we can be in danger of filling in the gaps with our imagination and become quickly attached to something that isn’t even real.
Ronald Honarto
Ronald Honartoje citiraoпре 2 године
When people settle, they usually do it for one (or all) of the following reasons, writes Brafman in a Psychology Today blog post:
• Loneliness: “I want someone special in my life, and I’m tired of spending so much time alone.”
• Time pressure: “Everyone else is getting married and starting a family—I’m running out of time!”
• Opportunity cost: “If I break up with him/her, I may never find someone better.”
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