I Am Enough

As a therapist, I meet so many people who don't like themselves and, by extension, they create lives they don't like either. The third group of clients are the ones that do like themselves. That's not because they are perfect, or had perfect parents, or have experienced no adversity; it's because they have learned how to self-dialogue and redirect their insecurities and fears around rejection and disconnection into a tremendous self-belief

Responsibility means an ability to respond. We are all responsible for our happiness; we can’t give that job to someone else and after all, if someone else has the power to make you happy then they equally have the power to make you unhappy. Happiness is an inside job. It’s also not a destination you arrive at, it’s the journey you are on now and every day.
Don’t wait for Mr/ Miss right or the right job, home or baby to make you happy—be happy already and you are far more likely to attract more happiness.

It’s why diets fail, people choose bad relationship partners, and lottery winners lose their money as fast as they can spend it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you

Remember, a needle is perceived differently by a heroin addict versus a nurse versus someone with a needle phobia.

The first habit of thought was learning that your mind does what it thinks you want it to do. As I explained, the mind is always operating in this fashion; most people just aren’t aware of it. If every time you drive to the office you think, “This is going to be hell,” then your brain takes that cue and makes you feel accordingly. However, if you communicate yourself in a precise, detailed, and specific way, your mind will help you move towards your goals, rather than sabotaging them. Just as we update our software on our phones and laptops, we have to update the way our brain operates.

adults, a stunning number of people go searching for love and acceptance in a mindset of “Please love me,” instead of an unshakeable belief of “I’m loveable.” While a child might become a perfectionist or a class clown to ensure they stay “clever” or “funny” for their parents, as adults people tend to do whatever possible to get someone to love them—even if it’s self-destructive.

important to remember that our survival as children is linked to our parents liking us and if they appear not to we always believe it is our fault. Our young minds lack logic before the age of three and thus, we believe that if things are not happy at home, we are in the wrong and must change our own behavior, rather than seeing the truth which is the parents are in the wrong and must change their behavior. Small children must idealize adults because they innately know that their survival depends on adults caring for them. Thus, believing everything adults say, they then begin to adapt to try and please them. When they hear these love-is-contingent kind of statements, they go from a state of “I’m loveable,” to “Please love me.” It’s a crucial, if subtle, shift. They then do whatever they can to ensure that their parents continue giving them the love they once effortlessly received. When it does not work they change their thinking to “You don’t love me and if you don’t love me no-one else will.” As clients unravel the long-held beliefs (untruths) that they were not loveable enough because their parents were always at work /Dad left

Exercise
Go back to the question I asked you earlier: What are your unmet needs and who do you expect to fix them?
Say: That’s not me because ……
That’s no longer me because ……
That will never be me ever again because ……
Fill in the blanks, repeat it several times and make sure you say it in a forceful way out loud. I want you to imagine I am in the room and you must state it to me and justify it to me.
Your subconscious mind can only focus on the present, whereas your conscious mind can focus on the future. The reason why pain or depression feel as if they will always be there and never leave is because the subconscious mind, which is the feeling mind, only works in the here and

To sum up, you have changed the thoughts that you now recognize belong to a child with unmet needs and you have stopped the looping thoughts by stating “it’s not me” in a powerful voice.

You need the new powerful motivating thoughts to drive you to socialize and radiate how lovable you are, which is so much easier when you know it first. Your body has no choice but to react to the thoughts you think, the words you say and the pictures you construct. You, however, can choose to make those thoughts words and pictures only positive.