MindWorks

As humans we live in two worlds. The first is the external, physical world of family, friends, work, and environment. The second is the internal world of our mind, imagination, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs: an inner world that can feel just as real to us as the first one. This book is about that second world and how to change what happens there.

One of the keys to staying out of self-judgment about our progress is to manage our expectations—in other words, our beliefs about how well we “should” be doing.

practicing acceptance for where we are and what we are doing is one of the best steps we can take.

Writing this way trains us to have the clarity that what the mind is projecting is not actually happening to us in this moment. I’ve also detailed the time-warp things the mind does so we are more aware that what is taking place is only happening in a belief bubble

One simple way to do this is to journal and drop the use of words like I and me, since the imagined future self isn’t really you. Instead, you refer to that self as he or she, or by name, in third person. After some time writing this way you can substitute the specific character you see and drop the general he/she. As you write about events this way you develop an observer perspective of your thoughts and false character identities. If you have difficulty identifying your characters at first, writing in third person will help you so you soon can.

A Skeptic Steps Out of the Story

In addition, be wary of when your mind decides to adopt the acceptance agenda, but with the motivation that by doing so it will be able to change beliefs, emotional reactions, and negative thoughts. The motivation to “change” can sometimes have underlying tones of judgment, rejection, and victimization. This is the Fixer going at things with a cover story of acceptance while harboring a rejection expression of “wrong” or “bad” underneath. The Fixer is not likely to achieve equanimity about the present-moment situation. As a countermove to this distorted agenda, write out the characters and list each one’s agenda underneath this corrupt strategy. This will help you be the observer by focusing your attention on the belief bubble of the Fixer.

The characters and expressions of the Judge and Victim are the principal sources of an emotionally unhappy mind. They create self-rejection, criticism, and abuse. Since they are the ones generating the kind of thinking that is causing our emotional problems, it is unlikely those characters will come up with solutions to stop their own behavior. They are not programmed to form, or even recognize, an effective strategy for changing beliefs and creating happiness. So if your mind spontaneously generates an emotional reaction about another emotional reaction you’ve had, complete with an agenda for change, consider that this is probably not an effective strategy for change. If you are not sure, do an inventory on the new reaction and the agenda for change, and scrutinize the various beliefs.

Adopting the practice of acceptance is a beginning step to adopting a new perspective and gaining control over your attention. As you practice this new perspective from which to express yourself, the belief paradigms of the Judge and Victim will have less and less control over your emotions.

would take a particular direction and that those belief bubbles would have unintended consequences. We just didn’t have the awareness at such a young age to know what we were doing.