Stone Butch Blues

ered Rocco sitting next to me. She reached forward and stroked my cheek. I touched my own face. Ifelt

“If you’re afraid to lose what you love, you’ll never be able to let go and feel it.

I emerged from behind the bar. It was the look on Theresa’s face that gave me the courage to raise my voice: You saw me standing alone. My voice cracked and pitched with embarrassment and emotion.

Theresa chewed her lower lip and cried.

Do-wah-do, my friends backed me up. Peaches stood behind me, waving the painted blue moon back and forth in a wide arc over my head.

But then you suddenly appeared before me, I extended my hand toward Theresa. And when I looked the moon had turned to gold! Peaches flipped the moon to the gold side. Everyone cheered. Peaches curtsied and continued swaying with the moon.

Theresa reached for me. I finished the song dancing in her arms.

I realized it was true, I wasn’t alone. I had love of my own.

can do to prove her love more than to risk looking foolish.

can do to prove her love more than to risk looking foolish.

“Well, I think it’s stupid.” He sounded like a kid. That’s when I knew I had really hurt him.

But if you don’t let your fears stop you, that’s bravery.”

“You’re really brave,” she told me.

I felt ashamed; it wasn’t true. “I’m not, really,” I told her honestly. “I’m scared all the time, Edna.”

Her face softened. “What a brave thing to say to me.”

Are you kidding?” she asked me incredulously. “Hallway through I thought I’d die.”

I registered shock. “For real? You made it look so easy!”

She laughed. “You must be joking. The only thing that got me through was it looked like it wasn’t bothering you much. I figured I had to show you an old butch like me could still keep up with a young punk like you!”

also didn’t want Grant to see me cold and scared and tired. She seemed fine.

She wasn’t even breathing hard.