Tell Me How You Really Feel

Don’t let other people force you into a decision just because it sounds good. I’ve seen what that looks like firsthand. It’s better to screw up on your own terms than to screw up on somebody else’s. It’s better to have something you know is yours rather than what everyone tells you that you should want.

Mamani’s triumph, her true victory, wasn’t in finances or work. Wasn’t even in pursuing her academic dreams or publishing a thesis way back in the day. No, Mamani’s true path to triumph was her ability to make whatever she ended up with look like what she wanted all along. Mamani made the short end of the stick look desirable.

Rachel took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. Unfortunately she ended up taking a deep inhale of Sana’s house. Except that wasn’t the scent of house. It was Sana. She smelled like jasmine and sunshine. Like too-warm concrete and the salty air from the ocean. And orange blossoms.
She smelled like summer.

Sana was more of a planner than a visionary. She saw a goal and she broke it down until it was in actionable, completable tasks.

“But I am done caring about people. A generic people that could judge me at any turn, left, right, and center. And I’m done caring unequivocally what you think. I love you. I respect you. But I can’t have you living in my head, judging every decision I make.”

If you want to live as you wish, you will be a scandal. But you will also be free. If you wish to be free of criticism, the world will place other bonds on you. That is the great trade-off. The great choice. Scandal comes with freedom. Freedom comes with scandal. They go one hand in the other. You never get them alone.

You are not her scandal. She is not my punishment. Only people who want to control you would say such things. Because they are scared.
Scared of themselves. Too scared to try for what they want. I do not regret my life. Life comes too fast. It can change in a moment

“And dreams can change, Sana. Even if ambitions don’t.”

“And dreams can change, Sana. Even if ambitions don’t.”

Have you tried cleaning up from the beginning? The knot is almost always earlier than you think it is. In the story. In anything