Love and Money

I live this life here where everything is measured in pay grades and pension schemes and sales targets and people like Liam laugh when your orders are cancelled and you are scared of losing your job

UNCAN

DEBBIE

DOCTOR

SEVEN
JESS: I don’t know if we’re alone.

DAVID: Fucking hell

and now I don’t want that. I want it to be a bit neater, I want it to be a bit like it’s supposed to be, I want it to be a bit like

I’m telling him that while being with him

I might be looking for meaning because I’m in love
and what is that? alright, what
chemicals
or
electric pulses racing, yes, yes, but let me tell you – and I’m not arguing with all that – but let me tell you that what I feel is so
real

and this is on the programme, this is the scientists’ alternative which is
that there are an infinite number of universes
gazillions and gazillions and gazillions of universes
where every possibility is played out.
Pause.
That’s it.
That is the best they could come up with.
And I just thought
Oh, really.
I mean for fuck’s sake
just grow up
I mean Jesus fucking Christ, you know, just what is wrong with purpose, what’s wrong with, you know, fucking belonging or
or
or just, you know, having an idea that there is something, that there is a point and that maybe it’s about more than just I have this pot of stuff here and that’s got more in it than your pot of stuff over there, but I’m just talking about, maybe, I dunno, choosing a world that is more than numbers and quantities and saving and choosing a world that is flesh and bone and
love or,
more than just
isn’t it more than just
money, mathematics, numbers, values, I don’t know
Isn’t it?
Don’t you think it is?
Isn’t money dead? Or something?
Isn’t it?
When you look around?
Don’t we know that in our heart of heart of hearts?
And that we’re looking for more, individually and as a, and all this, all these troubles are just symptoms of that search?
Pause.
He’s asked me to marry him.
Beat.
I said yes.
We were in bed and I was p

Little laugh. Beat.
So I’m watching this programme last night and they’re talking about this big problem in science, it’s like this massive sort of, philosophical problem I suppose, and this problem is that the
universe
is just so fucking
unlikely
it’s just so kind of
ridiculous, that it has turned out exactly this way that you’ve got to say
‘hang on...
oh yeah, come on, pull the other one.’

ngible
and powerful and honest and torrential it screams through me sometimes and I want to vomit, I want to puke because I’m in love, isn’t that fucked, I’m so in love I could puke.