A Guide to Better Management How to get Win Win

wanting it to be ‘win win’, when we make the effort to join the other person’s river, to find out how it works from their point of view, we often find that we are willing to be influenced by them as well as wanting them to be influenced by us.

As the person is speaking to you and as they are telling you things, do use their language when they respond. Again, take this quite literally. If someone were to say to you, ‘well I’m fed up with these things where we’re always being asked to do more’, don’t turn round to them and say ‘what makes you get so cross about it?’ They haven’t said that they were cross, they said that they were fed up. Use their words, ‘what makes you feel fed up about it’? They will immediately begin to feel that you are on their side which is one of the things you want to achieve if you are a good influencer.

As you’re doing so, you will realise that you find out almost immediately what their position is in regard to influencing. If they have decided that you are on opposite sides, it will show very clearly in their body and in their voice and you will be able to pick it up immediately. If they have decided that they are unlikely to succeed in this particular situation again, you will pick it up very easily. And if they have decided that they’re bound to come out on top and they just need to beat you down again, you will pick up that information