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Citati iz knjige „Deepening Your Personal Relationships“ autora Max,Jan Nowee,Alan Hammer,Barry,Butler,Hammer

Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
and
I do love you, BUT .....
and
I will love you, UNLESS .....
And
I did love you UNTIL . . . .
But none of these are really the same as I LOVE YOU
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Thus, listening reflects caring, but hearing reflects loving
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Thus, the setting of conditions as a prerequisite for the release or expression of love reveals that genuine love is not really present. Concerns of the mind cannot encroach upon that which is the sole province of the heart without affecting the state of communion. Love cannot be the consequence of reasoning or egoistic volition. Love is nothing if it is not spontaneous. It is not the fruit of the spirit of bargain. If you insist upon setting precedent conditions before surrendering to love or expressing love, you will never love, in a real way, because such demands reflect a heightened state of egoistic defense and preoccupation, which suppresses real love. Whatever is given under these circumstances is never real love, but only some form of obligatory or conditional approval.
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
However, when the selectively demarcated partial attribute, definition, or concept of self, such as the “me” in yourself, or the “it” in the other, becomes more important to you than the holistic “we,” then an illusory sense of psychological separation or duality arises, and the awareness of love is lost
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
The ultimate metaphysical secret, if we dare state it so simply, is that there are no boundaries in the universe. Boundaries are illusions, products not of reality but of the way we map and edit reality. And while it is fine to map out the territory, it is fatal to confuse the two.3
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
The ultimate metaphysical secret, if we dare state it so simply, is that there are no boundaries in the universe. Boundaries are illusions, products not of reality but of the way we map and edit reality. And while it is fine
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Love is only joy; it is never painful. It is only frustrated egoistic desire that brings pain. Love is the absence of egoistic desire, and, therefore, cannot be painful
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
The only thing that separates human beings in consciousness is identification with presumptive conceptual interpretation of themselves and others, which are intrinsically partial and divisive because they exclude their opposite concept, such as defining themselves as only strong and never weak, or always successful and never unsuccessful. Consciousness, in its true nature, is not intrinsically divided or divisible, but is an indivisible unitary wholeness, beyond any partial exclusive definitions and divisive value judgments
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
That kind of holistic relationship involves a state of communion between the whole field of experience and energy presence of the two individuals, rather than both individuals selectively revealing to one another, and attentively relating to in one another, only predetermined, partial, exclusive, favored aspects of their whole being. In a partial relationship, or I-It relationship, both individuals distance themselves from the whole being (energy presence) and experience of one another by selectively approving or disapproving of various partial aspects of one another, rather than unconditionally accepting each other’s whole being and whole field of actual experience
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Love is also intrinsically contentment, relaxed inner peace, harmony, fearless emotional security, and well-being, because it is a state of consciousness that is free of all duality and inner conflict. A consciousness in non-duality is free of all self-judgments, and makes no demands upon itself or the other person, and therefore, is free of all psychological desire, striving, ambition, and conflict, which is real peace and contentment
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
He who knows Love becomes Love and his eyes
Behold love in the heart of everyone,
Even in the loveless: as the light of the sun
Is one with all it touches.
He is wise
With undivided wisdom, for
He lies
In Wisdom’s arms.
His wanderings are done,
For he has found the Source
Whence all things run—
The guerdon of the quest,
That satisfied
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Some who know real love, in contrast to egoistic states of deficiency and needfulness which are incorrectly labeled as “love,” may report that they actually can hear the Cosmic “Voice,” the “Sound of Silence,” or what some call the “Music of the Spheres.” This sound very much resembles the ringing of soft bells, the buzzing of many bees, or the chirping of crickets. Because love is a state of consciousness which is free of the ego as its controlling and filtering or judging center, it is therefore also intrinsically a state of creativity and freedom, as well as being the clearest reflection of fulfillment that one’s personal consciousness can attain. Love provides us with an inner feeling of real substance, which is fulfilling because it is the experience of being filled with the true substance of our being, our most essential real self. Love completely fills our sense of inner void, hollowness, emptiness, loneliness, boredom, or meaninglessness, which are the experiential states that usually accompany our more frequent egoistic way of living. The ego depends upon illusory, presumptive concepts of self, which exist only on the surface of consciousness, for its sense of self or identity, and therefore at a deeper level, we are always shadowed by a feeling that we lack inner substance, and are an inner void, because conceptual self-definitions lack the substantial life energy presence that love intrinsically is being. The sense of existential relatedness and oneness that love brings also contributes significantly to an inner
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
The psychologist Abraham Maslow makes a similar distinction between values that come from the experience of already being an intrinsic wholeness and unconditional well-being, in contrast to psychological needs that arise from a sense of deficiency or lack of intrinsic wholeness and well-being.11 Maslow describes the experience of being as a peak experience, which makes one more unselfish, loving, joyful, creative, contented or non-desirous, and nonjudgmentally accepting of oneself and others, as well as experiencing an expansive sense of eternity, beyond localization in limited time and space.12 Maslow makes a basic distinction between genuine love arising from contentedness with one’s own intrinsic wholeness of being, which enables one to unselfishly care about others, occasionally relinquish separate self-awareness in deeply invested communion with others, and value or appreciate them unconditionally, for their own intrinsic whole being, in contrast to deficiency-based “love,” in which others are conditionally, selectively valued for only partial aspects of themselves that are viewed as filling one’s own perceived lacks or deficiency-based needs.13-14 According to Maslow, psychological maturity and health involves being identified with being values, in the way that we relate to others, and in actualizing the potentials of our own inherent being, whereas psychological immaturity and pathology is, most essentially, rooted in motivation to gratify deficiency-based psychological needs
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
In any given moment, in which you are free of all conceptual self-definitions, and are concerned with no egoistic self-seeking motive, you are then in a position to absorb your total attention into hearing and understanding what the other is being and saying to you in this experiential moment. Out of this condition of communion or oneness with the other person, real love can arise
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Real love arises only when consciousness is in what is called the transpersonal state of being, in contrast to the egoistic state of becoming, or seeking to become something more than we view ourselves as currently being. Consciousness in a condition of wholeness
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
This involves being fully content to let ourselves and the other be whatever each has to be, experientially, as a whole person, without fragmenting either one by imposing labels or categories on each, and applying the relative judgments of good and bad to those labeled traits. In addition, to be in a state of being, we must not desire or expect anything from ourselves or from the other person. This transpersonal or cosmic state of being is not only the realm of real love, but it is also the realm of consciousness from which arises real joy, vitality, contentment, creativity, beauty, freedom, and fulfillment. Those are some of the interrelated, indivisible, innumerable, aspects or qualities of the relational reality of life, as love, like many colors united in the greater whole spectrum of clear pure light
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Real love arises only when consciousness is in what is called the transpersonal state of being, in contrast to the egoistic state of becoming, or seeking to become something more than we view ourselves as currently being. Consciousness in a condition of wholeness,
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
In any given moment, in which you are free of all conceptual self-definitions, and are concerned with no egoistic self-seeking motive, you are then in a position to absorb your total attention into hearing and understanding what the other is being and saying to you in this experiential moment. Out of this condition of communion or oneness with the other person, real love can arise
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
In order to transcend egoistic self-preoccupation and experience real love, you must also care about the other person more than you care about your own self, as self-concept, and its desires or needs for an absolute sense of separate self-awareness, defense, integration, affirmation, aggrandizement, and intensely exciting, hedonistic excitement, as a pseudo sense of vitality and pleasurable enjoyment
Vlad Tampiza
Vlad Tampizaje citiraoпре 8 месеци
Some examples include the need for protection or security, the need to affirm our conceptually defined identity, and the need to aggrandize its sense of worth. Intensely exciting, idealized, egoistic infatuation with another individual is also often grounded in the craving to feel a greater sense of aliveness and euphoria to compensate for the ego’s deeper underlying experience of inner deadness, emptiness, and lack of the true joy of life. As long as the ego is using a relationship for its own gratification, we cannot experience the more genuine and deeply satisfying joie de vivre that arises only when we contact the relational energy substance of life as love by permitting ourselves to become self-forgetful of egoistic cravings and self-preoccupation in deeply invested communion with another individual, or with non-ego-related activities or phenomena. Such egoistic needs are like billowing clouds of smoke that smother the pure flame of love
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