Citati iz knjige „Introducing Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide“ autora David Walton

Social intelligence – the ability to understand and manage situations which involve other people.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Don’t put yourself down.
Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about you to yourself.
Accept compliments.
Use self-help books and websites to help you change your beliefs.
Spend time with positive, supportive people.
Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at.
Be assertive; don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect.
Be helpful and considerate to others.
Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.
Part of mindfulness is knowing what you are feeling as it happens.
Rationalize away things that make me feel bad or unsatisfied.
Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose to what is happening in the present moment, without judging whether it is right or wrong.
Analytical thinking, problem-solving and judgement are vitally important for an emotionally intelligent person. But problems in relationships, withemotions or with our own unconscious reactions to things, may not respond in the same way as a logistics or resourcing problem.
The ability to control impulses, or more specifically to control the desire to act on them, is primarily about deferred gratification. Being impulsive creates problems in relationships and limits the rational thinking needed to deal with others.
, i.e. the ability to stay flexible and behave in a positive and effective way, appropriate to the situation you are in.
Our view of ourselves, our confidence, self-esteem, sense of purpose and awareness of the way we tend to react to things provides the basis for self-management
Raises issue with colleague and negotiates better relationship
Poor career progression
Leaves organization for another
Organization versus family
Negotiates with boss more family time
Role ambiguity
Seeks clarification with colleagues or superior
Maladaptive behaviour
Accepts overload and general performance deteriorates
Uncertainty of policy/situation
Guesses inappropriately
Poor relationship with colleague
Attacks colleague indirectly
Adaptive behaviour
Delegates some responsibility
Uncertainty of policy/situation
Finds out what policy/situation is
Poor working relationship
Emotional intelligence requires an awareness of how emotion influences our thinking, judgement and interpersonal behaviours. In some situations we may need to deal with sensitive issues, in others with sensitive people. Our own emotion affects how we think, make decisions and communicate with others. In some cases, the situation may require us to talk about people’s feelings or to confront the way in which they affect us. Communicating about emotion is not necessarily straightforward.
What is the sense of purpose which drives you in your work or personal life? Does your vision fill you with excitement and confidence? How well do the other people you relate to share your beliefs and excitement?
The vision was that the urge to build something – to create – resides in us all.
t is difficult to build positive and warm links with people if you have continual reason to suspect what they say, and when their thinking doesn’t seem to follow the same rules as yours.
t takes approximately six seconds from the moment a powerful negative emotion is felt to the time the adrenalin begins to abate. That’s about how long you should wait before responding when you’re really angry.
Project into the future – how significant will this situation be next week/month/year?
Change the variables – if someone else were involved, would you still feel the same? If it happened at a different time, would it still be so upsetting?
Minimize negative automatic thinking – were there no redeeming features at all? Am I speculating about something which may never happen? Am I blaming myself for something I had no control over?
rumination’. It usually happens as a result of being very aware of the gap between what we would like and what is happening in reality.
Mindfulness:being aware – understanding yourself and others
Being in controlof your own thoughts, emotions and needs
Being positive and self-motivatedparticularly in the face of setbacks
Using empathy:being able to put yourself in others’ shoes
Communicating effectivelyto build productive and positive relationships
Using emotional reasoning:being able to use emotions to enhance rather than restrict your thinking.
The real world is a place where both feelings and instincts are major influences on our behaviour.
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