Stop comparing yourself to other people. Don’t put yourself down. Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about you to yourself. Accept compliments. Use self-help books and websites to help you change your beliefs. Spend time with positive, supportive people. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at. Be assertive; don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect. Be helpful and considerate to others. Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.
Analytical thinking, problem-solving and judgement are vitally important for an emotionally intelligent person. But problems in relationships, withemotions or with our own unconscious reactions to things, may not respond in the same way as a logistics or resourcing problem.
The ability to control impulses, or more specifically to control the desire to act on them, is primarily about deferred gratification. Being impulsive creates problems in relationships and limits the rational thinking needed to deal with others.
Raises issue with colleague and negotiates better relationship Poor career progression Leaves organization for another Organization versus family Negotiates with boss more family time Role ambiguity Seeks clarification with colleagues or superior Stressor Maladaptive behaviour Overwork Accepts overload and general performance deteriorates Uncertainty of policy/situation Guesses inappropriately Poor relationship with colleague Attacks colleague indirectly
Emotional intelligence requires an awareness of how emotion influences our thinking, judgement and interpersonal behaviours. In some situations we may need to deal with sensitive issues, in others with sensitive people. Our own emotion affects how we think, make decisions and communicate with others. In some cases, the situation may require us to talk about people’s feelings or to confront the way in which they affect us. Communicating about emotion is not necessarily straightforward.
What is the sense of purpose which drives you in your work or personal life? Does your vision fill you with excitement and confidence? How well do the other people you relate to share your beliefs and excitement?
t takes approximately six seconds from the moment a powerful negative emotion is felt to the time the adrenalin begins to abate. That’s about how long you should wait before responding when you’re really angry.
Project into the future – how significant will this situation be next week/month/year? Change the variables – if someone else were involved, would you still feel the same? If it happened at a different time, would it still be so upsetting? Minimize negative automatic thinking – were there no redeeming features at all? Am I speculating about something which may never happen? Am I blaming myself for something I had no control over?
Mindfulness:being aware – understanding yourself and others Being in controlof your own thoughts, emotions and needs Being positive and self-motivatedparticularly in the face of setbacks Using empathy:being able to put yourself in others’ shoes Communicating effectivelyto build productive and positive relationships Using emotional reasoning:being able to use emotions to enhance rather than restrict your thinking.